Remembering Phil Asher: A Heartfelt Tribute To My Friend.

I’ve been asked, many times, why I choose to work with death, loss and grief. In essence, it lies within the sudden loss of my best friend and a desire to help others navigate their own journey through grief. This is my story:

The recollection remains etched within me, as though engraved upon the very fabric of my being. January 22nd, 2021—a date forever imprinted upon the tapestry of my life. It was the day I lost my best friend, the day the world lost a house music legend, Phil Asher. He passed away suddenly in his sleep after suffering a heart attack, leaving behind a legacy that would resonate through the beats of his music.

Phil and I forged a connection that surpassed the boundaries of friendship; we met and instantly his love and energy filled my soul. An unlikely pairing, he’d taken time away from his music career and was working as a security guard on a film set. I was a paramedic serving coffee to the crew. Indeed, it was a long time before I even realised that my friend Phil, and the house music legend, Phil Asher, were one in the same.

Phil’s legacy in the world of house music was unparalleled. His infectious rhythms and soulful melodies resonated with countless souls, transcending boundaries and uniting people from all walks of life. His passion for music was contagious, igniting a fire within every beat he produced. Through his art, he was able to channel his emotions, taking us on an exhilarating journey through the depths of human experience.

But beyond his musical genius, Phil was a beacon of kindness and generosity. He possessed an extraordinary ability to connect with others, as he did with me, leaving an indelible mark on their lives. His warm smile and gentle demeanour could instantly dispel any gloom, bringing light to even the darkest corners of our hearts. His spirit embodied the essence of compassion, spreading love and unity wherever he went.

The day before his untimely departure, I spoke to Phil, blissfully unaware that it would be our final conversation. We laughed, we reminisced, and as we often did chatted about life, clothes and music. Things were looking up for him as he prepared to move to Brighton, life was good. Little did I know that the hands of fate would soon snatch away my confidant, my sounding board, and my dear friend. 

The news of his passing reached me through Radio 6 Music, an hourly news bulletin, of all things. I was finishing an essay for my masters and it  hit me like a sledgehammer, shattering my world into a million shattered fragments.

However, as the days passed, I found myself drowning deeper and deeper in a sea of isolation. The weight of grief hung heavily upon me, suffocating me with its cruel grip. The world mourned the loss of Phil Asher, the music industry paid its respects, and fans expressed their sorrow openly. But I, his friend, felt excluded and my friendship was washed away in a  public outpouring of grief.

It was during those dark moments of despair that I first realised that maybe my calling, my purpose in life lay in providing support and guidance to those who had lost loved ones, lending a compassionate ear to those grappling with the weight of their grief. It started in my role as a paramedic. I found myself taking more time with the patients at the end of their lives, putting more energy into supporting those around them. It took time, ultimately training as a transformative life coach, but still not sure where my niche lay, eventually I realised that In honouring Phil’s memory, I found solace. I channelled my energy into  helping others navigate the treacherous waters of grief and vowed to turn my pain into a catalyst for change by embarking on a new path as a grief coach.

As I reflect on our journey together, I am reminded of the indomitable spirit that defined Phil Asher. His music was a testament to his passion, a symphony of emotions that touched the depths of our souls. Through his beats, he forged connections and created moments of pure bliss. He brought people together, transcending barriers and spreading love through the power of sound.

Phil’s legacy lives on through the countless lives he touched. His music continues to reverberate through the hearts of those who were fortunate enough to experience its magic. And for me, his passing was a pivotal moment, a fork in the road that redirected the course of my life.

Though I still ache for his presence, I carry Phil with me in every beat of my heart. He is the melody that dances in my memories, the rhythm that propels me forward. His departure may have taken him physically from this world, but his spirit lingers, whispering encouragement and inspiring me to embrace life’s unpredictable symphony.

So here I stand today, a grief coach dedicated to helping others navigate the labyrinth of loss. Guiding individuals through their darkest moments, I express gratitude for the light that Phil bestowed upon my life. In his memory, I strive to be a beacon of hope, reminding the world that even in the face of grief, healing awaits, growth is attainable, and the unwavering power of love prevails.

Rest in peace, my dear friend, I love you now just as I did in the time we spent together. I hope you know  that your legacy lives on within the hearts you touched.